I’ll be the first to admit it that I went MIA on my friends when I first started dating the bae. I wanted to spend every waking moment I had in my relationship with him. More sleepovers at his place meant me seeing less and less of my friends. So my friendships began to suffer slightly. Now I don’t want you to think that I cared about my friends less, that wasn’t the case at all. Rather, I just wanted to enjoy the company of my new boyfriend (who is now my fiancé). However as time went on, I realized that perhaps I was spending too much time with my significant other. Initially everything we did together excited me. As time went on, constantly being in each other’s presence began to irritate and annoy me. That’s when I realized I missed hanging out with my girls and just how important they are in my life.
We always take things for granted when they are constantly around. This includes the friends we care about. While we have that one person who we want to spend the rest of our life with, we can’t foresee the future and its outcomes. This is why it’s so important to maintain relationships with friends and family and to live a full life surrounded by people we care about.
When we first meet a new person, most of our friends understand we want to spend time with the new person in our life. It’s only when it becomes repeated offences of cancelled plans and missed milestones that the friendship waters can get a bit rocky. No one wants to be “that friend.” You know, the one that totally dismisses her friends when she’s in a relationship and runs back to them the moment the relationship is over. We must find a balance between our relationships with our friends and significant other if we want to maintain and improve them. It is possible to make both our significant other and friends a priority!
If you find yourself having trouble finding a balance between your friends and significant other, try these tips:
#1 Schedule time with your girlfriends. Just as you would a date night with your beau, schedule a night with your girlfriends. It allows you to make a habit out of seeing your friends on a certain basis.
Now don’t be that friend who schedules the girl’s night out and brings her significant other. Talk about ruining the night! As a rule, it’s always better to spend alone time with both parties. Don’t impede on a fun night because you can’t stand to be away from you boyfriend.
If your friends live further away, plan the event ahead of time and don’t cancel. Often, friendships fall to the wayside because people cannot keep their plans and cancel at the last minute. Cancelling on your friends will make them feel as if they aren’t a priority, especially if the event was planned way in advanced.
#2 Have lunch with your friends and dinner with your significant other. Have two dates in one! If you find yourself having a busy week but want to make an effort to see your friends and beau, schedule to see them on the same day. It’s certainly not ideal, but it shows you are making an effort to appease both parties.
In my experience, having a full day of seeing the people I care about is definitely better than sitting at home alone. Just make sure when you plan your day you leave enough time to get from destination to destination. So if you’re having brunch with your girlfriends, make sure dinner with the beau is in the late afternoon or early evening, that way if you want to spend more time with your girlfriends after your lunch date you can.
#3 Have a group event! Are most of your friends attached as well? Perhaps you can have a fun group date. It’s a great way to include everyone and spend time with them. Now a date night doesn’t have to be strictly dinner or a couple night, it can be any sort of event.
There have been plenty of times where I’ve invited a few friends and their significant others over for a game night or even a sporting event. It’s a great way to know your friend’s partners and vice versa. It also allows you to see how your friends and beau interact with each other. It definitely creates a different dynamic (hopefully a good one) to have a larger group of people together.